Test Your Boundaries. Reclaim Your Calm.

Dating a Co-Parent: Red Flags Gut-Check Quiz

0/5 answered

Dating someone with kids? Plot twist: you're not just dating them—you're dating their Entire Ecosystem. This 5-question gut-check helps you notice what's actually happening (and how your nervous system is handling the chaos).

1) Schedule Chaos Response

When the ex demands last-minute custody changes, does your partner automatically say yes without considering your plans together?

Body check: Tight chest? Stomach drop? That familiar “oh, here we f*cking go again” feeling?
2) Ex Over-Involvement Enablement

Does your partner engage with their ex's non-parenting drama (answering venting calls, doing random favors, managing their personal issues) instead of redirecting them?

Body check: Drained? Shoulder tension? Heart doing the cha-cha?
3) Interrupted Private Time Allowance

Does your partner take non-urgent calls/texts from their ex during your dates or quiet moments together?

Body check: Jaw clench? Shallow breathing? Internal temperature rising to “moderately homicidal”?
4) Third-Parent Syndrome Expectations

Does your partner expect or assume you'll take on parenting or household tasks without actually asking if you're willing?

Body check: Feeling heavy? Back tight? That bone-deep “how did I get here?” fatigue?
5) Boundary Dismissal

When you voice a need or limit, does your partner minimize or dismiss it to “keep the peace” with their ex?

Body check: Chest tight? Holding your breath? Feeling like a ghost in your own relationship?
Score: 0 / 5
Yes = 1 · Sometimes = 0.5 · No = 0

âś… Green-ish Light

  • Your partner is actually showing up for your relationship while co-parenting. Rare unicorn behavior—keep nurturing this dynamic.
  • Pro tip: Lock in one simple agreement (like 24-hour notice for schedule changes) to maintain this good thing you’ve got going.

⚠️ Yellow Zone

  • Your partner is stuck in “default to whatever the ex wants” mode, and your nervous system is keeping score.
  • Pro tip: Pick one pattern (like taking calls during dinner) and make it a hard no. Your relationship needs protected space to breathe.

đźš© Red Zone

  • Your partner is consistently choosing the path of least resistance with their ex over protecting your relationship. This pattern will drain you dry.
  • Script to try: “I care about your kids, AND I need you to actively choose our relationship too. Let’s talk about how to make that happen.”

“Your nervous system is trying to tell you something. Ready to listen? Book a free clarity call and let's figure out your next step.”

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