Dating Apps Suck... Until They Don't (And How to Make Them Work for You)
Ah, Valentine’s Day. The season of overpriced prix-fixe dinners and couples posting #blessed selfies. But what if you’re single and actually want to meet someone? Instead of feeling hopeful, you’re dodging well-meaning friends asking, “Have you tried the apps?”—like it’s some kind of magical fix.
If that’s where you’re at, you might be feeling:
Overwhelmed. Because let’s be honest, swiping in 2025 feels like an extreme sport, and not everyone is ready for the Olympics.
Frustrated. "Have you tried this app? My friend met her boyfriend's cousin's coworker's dog walker on it!" (As if you haven’t already downloaded and deleted every app twice.)
Just plain tired. Of the games, the small talk, and the endless cycle of hope and disappointment.
Let’s get this out of the way: Dating apps suck. But they’re also how millions of people meet their partners—whether we like it or not.
Swipe Fatigue is Real
You swipe. You match. You chat. You wonder if this person is actually a bot or just really passionate about cryptocurrency and hiking photos from 2019. Then they disappear, or worse—ask if you "like adventures" but have zero plans beyond their couch and Netflix queue. It's exhausting.
And if you've ever thought, “There is no one good on these apps…”, you're not alone. Here’s what often happens: We download dating apps hoping to find that perfect connection, and we think we’re doing the right thing, but often … we’re swiping for all the wrong reasons.
Now, you may be thinking, ‘Not me! I know what I’m looking for. I’ve done my work. I’m fine—my profile is smokin’! It’s them that’s the problem. I get it… but hear me out:
Whether or not we want to admit it, many of us are looking for someone to fill gaps in our lives that we need to fill ourselves.
Swiping to cure loneliness.
Seeking validation through matches.
Hoping the right person will somehow make everything click into place.
These patterns aren’t always obvious at first, but with a little soul-searching, they can become crystal clear.
My Bet With the Universe
A year and a half ago, I received some seriously strong nudges from the Universe to get online and meet someone. Having tried the dating app scene before, I was not having any of that. It was a feisty back and forth for a few weeks until I heard the question loud and clear:
What do you want? Be honest.
Ooof. That stopped me in my tracks. The hard truth? I wanted to be in a relationship. I just didn’t want to go through the effort of dating to get there.
But once I admitted the truth to myself, I joined an app. And then things got really wild.
When I joined with a different mindset, I met someone amazing within 24 hours of joining. Not because I got lucky, but because I showed up differently. Different intentions, different energy, different results.
The truth is, the best connections happen when we stop trying to find someone to complete our lives and instead look for someone to complement them. When we get crystal clear about what we want in a partnership and why.
➡️ No more settling for “Well, we’re all getting older… I guess I can overlook the fact that this person {insert every. Single. Excuse you’ve ever made}.”
➡️ No more showing up as a carefully curated version of yourself, hoping to seem more appealing.
➡️ No more swiping from a place of “I need someone” rather than “I’d love to share my already-full life with the right person.”
The Real Problem (Spoiler: It’s Not the Apps)
Most people treat dating apps like a lottery—swipe enough times, and maybe you’ll hit the jackpot. But the truth? If you don’t know who you are or what you actually want, the app isn’t going to magically deliver your perfect match.
Ask yourself:
Do you really know what you’re looking for, or are you just swiping right on anyone who doesn’t have a fish pic, hoping to cast a wide net? (Yeah, I went there. Groan away, my friends.)
Are you presenting yourself authentically, or are you trying to be who you think others want?
Have you settled for "good enough" matches because you're afraid of being too picky?
Dating apps aren’t the problem. The problem is not having a strategy—or worse, expecting someone else to "complete" you. (Cue Jerry Maguire, but also… please no.)
The Good News? You Don’t Have to Settle
If you’re rolling your eyes thinking, Okay, but how?—I’ve got something for you.
I’m creating a mini-course on dating with clarity—because finding someone shouldn’t feel like a full-time job. You already have one of those (probably).
You don’t need to:
Swipe until your thumbs go numb
Waste time on people who think "hey" is a compelling opener
Be in a relationship just because it’s that time of year
Pretend you enjoy hiking if you don’t (it’s okay, we can’t all be outdoor enthusiasts)
A Final Thought
Here’s the truth: You don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy. Your worth isn’t determined by your relationship status or the number of matches in your inbox.
But if you want to meet someone special, you absolutely can—without the exhaustion, frustration, and self-doubt that often comes with online dating.
The right person is out there. They might even be laughing at this blog post right now. The real question is: Are you ready to meet them?
Curious? Stay tuned—because the right relationship isn’t about luck. It’s about alignment.
And that’s something you can control (unlike your matches' ability to carry a conversation).
Stay tuned for more details about the upcoming mini-course...
And hey, whether you’re swiping, celebrating, or ignoring the whole thing—Happy Valentine’s Day!
